Autore Topic: Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo  (Letto 12642 volte)  Share 

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falceEmarcello

Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #80 il: 25 Gennaio, 2011, 10:39:51 am »
Forse la cosa più divertente che hai scritto in questo topic!  :rofl:
e non mi sono giocato ancora la carta del "fantasma formaggino"  :look:

Offline Nadir

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #81 il: 29 Aprile, 2011, 21:06:02 pm »
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

 :pariamm:

Offline Dimonios

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #82 il: 29 Aprile, 2011, 21:14:57 pm »
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

 :pariamm:
:rotfl: :rotfl:
 :look:
Ah,poi ultimamente ho visto le foto di un ciattone biondo ,che si definiva metallaro,di cui non ricordo il nome,ma anche lui non scherzava in quanto a bruttezza :look:

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #83 il: 29 Aprile, 2011, 21:15:23 pm »
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

 :pariamm:
:rotfl:  :rotfl:  :rotfl:


Offline WhiteManCanJump

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #84 il: 29 Aprile, 2011, 21:58:23 pm »
Azzirra non htuos.
Citazione da: Starfred
E a noi serve un titolare lì, non il Giaccherini iberico, uno che a 26 anni non è nessuno.

Offline Nadir

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #85 il: 01 Maggio, 2011, 14:25:23 pm »
Five Important Qualities:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

 :mangia:

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #86 il: 02 Maggio, 2011, 19:05:48 pm »
Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Eric?" Jim asked. "Well didn't you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Eric. "Ah, praise God!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #87 il: 02 Maggio, 2011, 19:11:03 pm »
Zwei Holländer besteigen einen Flug nach London. Einer nimmt den Fensterplatz, der andere setzt sich neben ihn auf den mittleren Platz. Kurz vor dem Start setzt sich ein Deutscher auf den Platz am Gang.

Nach dem Start zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe aus, wackelt mit seinen Zehen und macht es sich gemütlich, als der Holländer auf dem Fensterplatz sagt: "Entschuldigen Sie, ich muss aufstehen und mir eine Cola holen."

"Bleiben Sie ruhig sitzen", sagt der Deutsche, "ich sitze am Gang. Ich hol' Ihnen Ihre Cola."

Kaum ist er aufgestanden, nimmt einer der Holländer einen seiner Schuhe und spuckt hinein. Als er mit der Cola zurückkehrt, sagt der andere Holländer: "Das sieht gut aus, ich hätte auch gerne eine." Wieder erklärt sich der Deutsche bereit, sie zu holen. Als er weg ist, nimmt der andere Holländer den anderen Schuh und spuckt ebenfalls hinein. Als der Deutsche zurückkommt, lehnen sie sich alle zurück und genießen den Flug.

Als das Flugzeug zur Landung ansetzt, zieht der Deutsche seine Schuhe an und bemerkt sofort was passiert ist.

"Warum nur?" fragt er, "Wie lange wird das noch weitergehen? Dieser Kampf zwischen unseren Nationen. Dieser Hass. Diese Animositäten. Dieses In-die-Schuhe-Spucken und In-die-Cola-Pissen."

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #88 il: 02 Maggio, 2011, 19:14:11 pm »
ahaha un'altra divertente

Ein Luxusdampfer verunglückt, doch die Rettungsboote reichen nicht. Jeder bekommt eine Schwimmweste und soll springen, aber keiner traut sich. Die Crew ist verzweifelt. Schließlich wird der Kapitän gerufen. Dieser geht zu der Gruppe, die ängstlich an der Reling steht und redet mit ihnen. Dabei springt einer nach dem anderen ins Wasser. Als alle Passagiere von Bord sind, fragt der 1. Offizier den Kapitän, wie er die Leute denn überreden konnte.

"Na ganz einfach" meint der. "Zu den Deutschen habe ich gesagt, es ist ein Befehl. Zu den Franzosen, es wäre patriotisch. Den Japanern habe ich versprochen, dass Springen gut für die Potenz wäre. Und den Italienern habe ich gesagt, springen sei verboten."

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #89 il: 02 Maggio, 2011, 19:20:12 pm »
Ein Amerikaner, ein Deutscher und ein Araber unterhalten sich bei einem Getränk.

Amerikaner: "Ich habe 4 Söhne, noch einen und ich habe eine Basketballmannschaft!"

Deutscher: "Ich habe 10 Söhne, noch einen und ich habe ne Fußballmannschaft!"

Araber: "Ich habe 17 Frauen, noch eine und ich habe einen Golfplatz!"

Offline Henry Chinaski

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #90 il: 06 Maggio, 2011, 11:02:43 am »
Five Important Qualities:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

 :mangia:
:lol:
un giorno i neri prenderanno finalmente il posto che spetta loro al mondo, e voi sarete lì a costruire piramidi. Io farò la parte del dottor Mengele, per la fiducia dimostrata loro in tempi non sospetti.

Offline Puck

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #91 il: 06 Maggio, 2011, 16:58:01 pm »
12  :look:

Offline Samorchio

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #92 il: 13 Luglio, 2013, 10:53:09 am »
riapro per una barzellette magnifica e noir. Come è cambiato l'umorismo dal 2013 grazie a Papasouth e co.

Q:What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do?
A: Stays up nights wondering if there’s a dog

Offline Henry Chinaski

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #93 il: 02 Agosto, 2013, 05:56:02 am »
riapro per una barzellette magnifica e noir. Come è cambiato l'umorismo dal 2013 grazie a Papasouth e co.

Q:What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do?
A: Stays up nights wondering if there’s a dog
non so se :overfaje: o :lol:
un giorno i neri prenderanno finalmente il posto che spetta loro al mondo, e voi sarete lì a costruire piramidi. Io farò la parte del dottor Mengele, per la fiducia dimostrata loro in tempi non sospetti.

Offline signor groucho

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #94 il: 02 Agosto, 2013, 07:24:33 am »
riapro per una barzellette magnifica e noir. Come è cambiato l'umorismo dal 2013 grazie a Papasouth e co.

Q:What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do?
A: Stays up nights wondering if there’s a dog
:asd:
Alfrè ti conviene abbandonare la conversazione :look:

Leif Erikson

R: Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #95 il: 02 Agosto, 2013, 11:13:27 am »
Ua però è bella

Online pappasouth

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Re:Topic delle Barzellette-sezione centro Linguistico partenopeo
« Risposta #96 il: 02 Agosto, 2013, 11:25:52 am »
ahaha un'altra divertente

Ein Luxusdampfer verunglückt, doch die Rettungsboote reichen nicht. Jeder bekommt eine Schwimmweste und soll springen, aber keiner traut sich. Die Crew ist verzweifelt. Schließlich wird der Kapitän gerufen. Dieser geht zu der Gruppe, die ängstlich an der Reling steht und redet mit ihnen. Dabei springt einer nach dem anderen ins Wasser. Als alle Passagiere von Bord sind, fragt der 1. Offizier den Kapitän, wie er die Leute denn überreden konnte.

"Na ganz einfach" meint der. "Zu den Deutschen habe ich gesagt, es ist ein Befehl. Zu den Franzosen, es wäre patriotisch. Den Japanern habe ich versprochen, dass Springen gut für die Potenz wäre. Und den Italienern habe ich gesagt, springen sei verboten."

HAHHAHAHA ma è bellissima! :ok: :look: